Prepare to lol…
Maybe listen to the music while you read.
I got an alert.
On my phone,
Only a test–
of the emergency alert-
No action required-
I got an alert-
Don’t be curt-
It might hurt-
Just be purt-
Cause we’re all
Cause we be slippin-
Into the future.
Fly to the future-
Take the babies-
Take to the street-
I got this-
I got the solution.
In my heart-
So don’t part-
Where you’re like Bart-
And a little tart-
Ride the cart-
Be ready to dart-
Have a Heart-
Cause we’ll never part!!!
Ready to start?
It comes straight from the
Continue reading “Presidential Alert”
I see it every day, in your eyes,
You’re just waiting to die.
It’s so sad,
It has become a fad.
When you get old and frail,
All you want to do is bale.
What happened to live life to the fullest, living on the edge, living on a prayer?
Are you gonna live life for all it’s worth?
Your choice Hell or Heaven on Earth!!!
Dad are you happy all the time?
Absolutely!!! I love my life! And everyone in it. In fact, I love…
Yes indeed. But do you know who I love the most? Three guesses and the first two don’t count.
Gotcha!!! ME, MYSELF AND I!
And that is the second key and most important! Loving yourself the mostest. Is that a word?
I got you hooked now. I’m reeling in the big fish. HA!
First—Be good to yourself! Say this: It’s all about me!
I love me some me! Good morning beautiful! I’m going to spoil me all day long! I am so grateful for me! I love me! I love having fun with me! I am the most fun of all! I could be a comedian I’ so funny! Life for me is a gigantic mall, where everything is FREE! I get the pick of whatever me wants! I’m the most gorgeous to me…I’m the smartest…most understanding, happy, smart, world beater ever. People want to be me…
Wow! I’ve never heard you like this before.
I know that’s why I’m doing it…
I’m going to tell you a true story. When I was working a new employee would ask me my name. I’d say hi my name is Roger G Hayes. The “G” is for GOD!
Then I’d look skyward and say: Just kidding…And smile. People thought that guy is nuts…mad…insane…cause you’ve got to be…
Let Gooooooooo…until it becomes natural to be you every moment…of every day…week…month…year…decade…until…
Uhhhh that’s a long time. How can you do that?
I thought you’d never ask…
Dad always said life is like the Universe. Full of pretty things, full of beautiful, shiny, natural wonders! And miracles!
But Dad, did you forget about the bad things, people, tragedies?
There have always been always will be! Can you change any of those?
I could try to help!
Yes, you can! But the fact is you can’t change most people, places, things, and events. You just think you can. I was the same way.
Ya see that’s the first key to being happy, ACCEPT.
The sound of rain makes me insane,
I’m reminded of secrets I can’t name.
Listen to the rain, listen to the rain, I have nothing to gain.
Why does it cause me pain? It’s ingrained in my brain.
As I wane, I have a connection to the rain,
But the sane, don’t drive in this lane!
Or do they just not complain…
About their bane!
I had an epiphany,
About a girl named Tiffany.
It was a vision from above,
Because they both mean the same.
She’s beautiful, smart, and free!
She’s really something to see!
But most of all,
She has a beautiful Soul!
I had a dream of her in the sea,
She swam like a fish to me.
I thought, did I manifest this?
Or did the universe?
I know it will always be,
Me and Tiffany!
What’s that you have for sale. It’s a rock. It’s just not any rock. It’s a one a kind rock. It was the last piece that broke off from an asteroid that burnt up coming into the atmosphere. It busted a hole in my privacy fence and was still smoking when I found it. I put up a video on youtube.
I keep it on my mantle in the house. I carry it with me wherever I go. At work, it sits on my desk and when I have trouble figuring something out, I just pick up my rock and it’s like magic, the answers seem to flow. I guess you could say it’s my “thinking rock”.
It can be used for almost anything. I use it a lot. One time I was locked out of my house and used it to break a window to get it. I used it and another rock to learn to juggle. I strike matches on it to lite my grill, use it to bust up bags of ice, why it’s even helped my marriage. I just say to my wife, you see my rock on the mantle? That’s not really my rock, you are baby! Helped my sex life too! All I’ve got to do is pick up the rock and say, I’m going to rock your world tonight.
It even has a name “Kid” rock. I take Kid to church and hold it when I sing rock of ages. It really means the world to me. But I’ll sell it to you and you can take it to Knoxville and hold it when you sing Rocky Top.
It all comes from the heart! You can write anything you want. Well, I bet you’ll ask me!
Send me an email and I will tell you what you need to do to get this talent.
Do you remember your first puppy love? Anticipation, Joy
Do you remember when you found out she didn’t feel the same? Sad
Do you remember you first true love? Happiness
Do you remember when she cheated with a married man? Surprise, Hurt
Do you remember being Saved? Joy, Trust
Do you remember when that initial feeling wore off? Frightened, Saddness
Do you remember your first drunk? Happy
Do you remember your first hangover? Sad, Nasty
Do you remember striving, striving and finally achieving your ultimate goal? Anticipation, Deliriously happy
Do you remember thinking later, why did I want this? Fear, Anger, Depression
Do you remember when your best friend was killed? Anger, Grief
Do you remember finally accepting that God makes no mistakes. Acceptance, Surprise, Trust
Do you remember chasing any emotions? Anticipation, Joy, Sadness, Anger
Do you ignore your feelings? Fear, Sadness, Joy
Do you imbrace certain bad emotions? Fear, Anger, Sadness, Disgust
Do you like feeling bad? Anger, Sadness
Do you want decide which feelings to chase? Surprise, Acceptance
Do you want to know yourself? Surprise, Fear, Anticipation
Do you know you have an addictive personality? Surprise, Anger, Depression, Disgust
Do you know God will help if you ask? Surprise, Frightened, Anticipation, Acceptance, Happy
I’ve been a big talker,
Even a smooth talker.
I’ve been a bathtub caulker,
But never a night stalker.
Sometimes a jay walker,
Even a pitching balker.