Did you ever pray to your God for answers.

Have you ever listened after the prayer for answers He gives.

Have you ever hit rock bottom.

And had that moment of clarity.

Have you ever been so depressed, down, beaten by life and saw no hope.

So low you considered suicide as you only option.

But you were gutless and couldn’t do it.

Have you ever felt like the last person on earth, alone.

Have you ever been so in love with a person that you believed they were too good to be true.

And they were.  But you stayed just to get the three days out of the month when they treated you perfectly.

This same person who was jealous of you, but you laughed and said I’ve met someone (you) who I would never ever disappoint.

Because  you knew you had found what you had been looking for and didn’t want anyone else.

But they did and you just let that slide. 

Yet, they renewed your hope in the human race.

There’s actually a person like this!  Who loves everyone even you sometimes.

Have you ever been told I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you.

And you thought this person is out there.

And then suddenly they proved their love for you.

By walking away from everything for you and said I can’t live without you.

Then after falling madly in love found out everything this person said was a lie.

And to come to the realization it wasn’t you it just the fact you “new” to them that they actually treated everyone like that, especially those that didn’t come on to them.

And realize so what I still love them. They make me feel like no one ever has.

Have you ever had someone hurt you so bad, you cried, cried, and prayed to die.

And didn’t tell a sole about it because you wanted to remember that pain.

Not because they disappointed you. But because they somehow renewed your hope in love.

And you loved them unconditionally. Somehow and thought what the fuck is wrong with me.

And then they crushed your soul as only true love and can do.

And you somehow survived the survivable.

And you looked in the mirror at your reflection and smiled and said out loud.

God how I love you.  If I could only go back and live that pain again. Just to see her smile.

Just to feel that touch only she had one more fucking time.

And realize darling you may hate me I’ll always love you.

The ultimate revenge.

I still love you.

Your loss.

And there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.

Thanks for the memories.

I know you remember too.

Just  thinking out loud dear.

Don’t be bitter. lol

I told you, you’ll always have a special place in my heart.

Reserved only for you.

You said you’d love me forever. 

Did you fib my love.

I didn’t.

RGH

12-29-2020